Being raised in a Catholic-Protestant crossover household – my mother being a Catholic and my dad protesting everything that is Catholic – I had my reservations regarding complete devotion to Mary. I was baptized in the Catholic Church and raised in the Catholic traditions, following the sacraments and teachings of the Church. But my dad has developed a kind of rebellion towards the Church over a period of time and would challenge some of its traditions, one of which was the place of honor and privilege given to the Blessed Virgin.
As a result, (and I feel ashamed of myself as I say this) I too had developed a sense of unwillingness in fully dedicating myself to the Holy Mother and in believing with complete conviction in her role in God’s plan of redemption. I would ask her intercession and pray the rosary and all, but my heart was not in it. I would always be careful that my prayers do not amount to a prayer to Mary herself, thereby equaling her with God in any way. I would constantly remind myselves that the veneration to Mary is of the status of an interceder and not that of God. All these thoughts blocked or hindered the flow of grace into my life.