Being raised in a Catholic-Protestant crossover
household – my mother being a Catholic and my dad protesting everything that is
Catholic – I had my reservations regarding complete devotion to Mary. I was baptized in the
Catholic Church and raised in the Catholic traditions, following the sacraments
and teachings of the Church. But my dad has developed a kind of rebellion
towards the Church over a period of time and would challenge some of its
traditions, one of which was the place of honor and privilege given to the Blessed
Virgin.
As a result, (and I feel ashamed of myself as I
say this) I too had developed a sense of unwillingness in fully dedicating
myself to the Holy Mother and in believing with complete conviction in her role
in God’s plan of redemption. I would ask her intercession and pray the rosary
and all, but my heart was not in it. I would always be careful that my prayers do
not amount to a prayer to Mary herself, thereby equaling her with God in any
way. I would constantly remind myselves that the veneration to Mary is of the
status of an interceder and not that of God. All these thoughts blocked or
hindered the flow of grace into my life.